Rough times

Im going to be open for once on my blog. If you truly know me you know its hard for me to show emotion. I bottle it up till I burst. Which yes I know is not good. Ive gotten better over the years but not 100% there yet. The past couple of weeks have been hard for me. Its just one thing after another. Tristan finally got into a sleep schedule then of course he all of a sudden fell back to old times. Me not getting sleep just makes me more pissy during the day. We do the same thing every night and still he does this. Its really starting to get to me. I just want him to SLEEP!!! Also he hasn't been eating properly. Sometimes he tells me what he wants but when I give it to him he gets mad and throws it then wont eat. He has his certain foods that he loves and sometimes he could care less about him. Ive been giving him carnation instant breakfast and v8 slash so he at least gets he protein and fruits and veggies. The other night he went to bed without eating. Hes getting to old to be doing this. Since Friday he has been kinda sick too. But when I try to give him meds he spits it at me. Tonight I talked to my dr and she said to start giving him benedryl again. Well when I gave it to he spit it out then trew up so he got it outta him. He was in the tub taking a bath so at least I didnt have to clean clothes or off the ground. I got to the point where I took him out got him dressed and put him right in his bed. I have been at my wits end all day today. Moday I got 2 impacted wisdom teeth out and am in a lot of pain. Well tristan keeps hitting them or slamming his head into me which makes me bleed and hurt worse. Last night he kept screaming and finally climed down the stairs and made me sleep on the couch with him. It took him a little bit to fall asleep but once he finally did he was out for a while. Well I was on lortab and in a pissy mood cuz thats what it does to me. I also took one earlier today. So all today every thing he did to push my buttons did and it was 10 times more then normal. I finally put movies on back to back to distract him and then let him play outside for a while. It just gets me so worked up witch eventually turns into anger then depressed. Even on my meds. Also this month I started a job with a friends boyfriend. Well he was shady to her and they broke up then started being shady and rude to me. So I quit and after I quit hes all "your officially fired" um....you cant fire someone who quit. Long story short and 79 text fight in a few hours later I no longer have a job and dont talk to him. He owes me a couple hundred which I will never see and threatened me a lot. Which if he follows through I will counter it with things hes doing. Good thing in it all, my older brother defended me and his sil, even though hes in Iraq and is dealing with the guy now. Hes 29 and needs to grow up. Im not the one he should be fighting with. I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing. So with all that it got me really upset and I wanted to just punch him. Hes a real piece of work is all I can say. Anyways. Till next time. Hopefully things will get better.

After surgery

Chipmunk time

Your how old?!

Its that guys birthday!!! I love hims!!!! I knew from day 2 that I was going to marry him. No joke. I even told a friend "I'm going to marry that kid one day". She didn't believe me.

I can honestly say hes my best friend!! We are so goofy with each other and nothing embarrasses us.

Now for 23 I love about John:
1. Hes Good freaking looking!
2. He makes me smile
3. He Gives me massages when I ask :D
4. He takes care of me
5. Hes been there for me through the good and BAD!!!
6. He stole my heart
7. He works hard for the money
8. Hes in school and work full time
9. He puts everyone else first
10. Hes a nerd
11. He puts up with me (if u know me that's a huge deal)
12. He lets me sleep in
13. He is the best father EVER!!!!!
14. My best friend and lover
15. He makes me food when I'm lazy
16. Hes my big spoon :p
17. He does little things that bug me
18. He gives me breaks when I NEED them!!!
19. He completes me :D
20. He is a goofy goofy kid
21. Hes my nerd disguised as a sexy man
22. You make me feel good about myself even when I don't
23. He is just: THE BEST PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!