Rambles

My intent in this post is not to offend anyone and if it does then sorry I guess. Speaking my opinion and what I believe. I have been watching teen mom and 16 and pregnant a lot since we got cable. I don't know why I do. Everytime I do it just pisses me off. Obviously these kids didn't get the no sex till marriage or use birth control memo. And that's fine cuz not everyone belives that or thinks its the right thing to do. I'm not judging there. It just...i guess bugs me most that theses kids weather it be the mom and dad or just mom decide oh im still in jr high, for some, and have no money or job or anything really yet they decide to keep the baby. And they just act like its gonnna be a walk on the park and once baby is here nothing will change. They have a huge surprise coming. I just really wish they would be smart and give these babies up for adoption and give them a chance. There have been a couple of moms who heaved and those kids seem to be doing the best. Not in a home where, like recently mom is in jail, dad and mom are split, moving multiple times cuz they can't afford places, etc. Even being married and "old" enough its a challenge. When I was in the ER the guy doing my iv and I were just chatting and he mentioned that he and his wife of 3 years have been trying to have kids and nothing. He told me he found out it was his fault
So they were looking into adoption and invetro. But yet druggies and little kids can get pregnant the first time. (i have friends in the teenage not married category. Once again not judging) I know there's a plan for each person but I just don't understand. I feel bad for this guy. His wife is baby hungry and he is really wanting to be a dad too. But for whatever reason makes him not be able to have kids they have to fork out thousands of dollars, time, and emotional times just to have a family. Sucks. The main reason I got pissed lately was because one of the girls on the show had a baby and then her anf her bf just decided no bc at all and got pregnant again. AGAIN!!! But this time she just decided to abort. She didn't wanna deal with pregnancy. Yea well should have kept your legs closed
Instead of giving that baby to a desearving daily who wants that child they just aborted it. Abortion sickens me!! I don't think abounded should ever be aloud to but once again free rights and agency. When I was in the hospital waiting for my surgery all I could think of was my unborn baby girl. I haven't held her or met her or seen her other then an ultrasound and yet I was bawling at the thought of loosing her. From the day I found out I was pregnant, both times, I was attached to that baby. I can't imagine loosing them. Point of my ramble is if ur gonna have sex u might get pregnant. And if u get pregnant then deal with it. If you can't handle your consiquence then give the baby a chance and give em up. Be selfless not selfish! Sure there are days when pregnacncy is no wall in the park but hey its a sacrifise. Sure we didn't plan on getting preg w tristan on our honeymoon even on bc but hey we did and its all apart of a bigger plan. Im glad we had him. Life would be boring without him. K. My ramble is done.

Merry christmas I guess

Well I have some time to spare. Im laying in the er at the american fork hospital. (on drugs and cell phone so disregaurd spelling and other mistakes. Im trying) Been here since 12:45 christmas night. This is exactly where I wanna be...NOT!!! I have been having side pain since about thursday. Thought it was maybe muscle pain and blew it off. But it has only gotten worse as the hours pass. At my moms house for dinner I had her poke around and I wanted to die. When I got home I talked to a friend who works at the hospital and after a long disscusion and having john poke and hurt me she said go to er just to be safe. So here I am. I got t outta bed and had john take me in. The dr said I will most likely be here all night waiting for mri so they should go home and rest. So I sent em home. Id much rather be snuggling my stinker them laying here alone but he needs his sleep. The nurse came in to put my iv in and the plastic part on the needle snapped and the needle poked through. It killed and definately took my mind away from the side pain. So he pulled it out and ventured too my let arm. Well lets just say my left arm and needles don't mix. More then the fact that I just don't like em. But for whatever reason my arm has a mind of its own. I am so uncomfortable with it in my left arm. I had to wait for a ultrasound tech. And a mri tech to come in since it was 2 am. Mri are torture for me. I feel trapped and itchy, especially on drugs. So that half hour I wanted to dle. Dr came in a little bit ago to inform me I need to have surgery to get apendix taken out. I called john and lost it. Im terrified. Not gonna lie. Why is it happening while I'm pregnant?! Merry christmas I guess. So now I just lay here and wait another two hrs. My mom should be here shortly and she's having chris come give me a blessing. Im tired and starving. I want time to hurry up so I can get it over with. On a brighter note we found out we are having a girl. Which tristan told us we were a little bit ask so it was just a confirmation. I am so excited to be having a girl. John on the other hand is terrified to have girls. Also Chris was able to come home from iraq for two weeks. He hours back next week but its awesome to have him home for christmas. He becca and zoe were able to get seemed last tuesday in the logan temple. Id post pictures of baby but can't at the moment.

Dude? Really?!

This is promised to be an interesting post. Im going to start out with the wife(trinity) and mines "adventure" last night. Around 5 pm Trin, Tristan and I headed out to BFE Vernal to pick up her kids who were with grandma. Its like a 2 1/2 drive. Tristan pretty much fell asleep right away and I dozed off for a little bit. On the way out it was pretty uneventful. Well ok thats a lie. Trin and I NEVER have a dull moment together. We basically talked and made fun of nowheres ville and were just well, being us. When we FINALLY arrived at her moms Tristan was excited to get out and play with Kelton. But Kelton was feeling really really sick so T chashed cats instead. We were there for a couple of hours and those hours were nothing but laughing and snorting. Her mom and step dad are awesome and yet crazy. In a good way. After a couple of hours and torture to both of us from her cats and our allergies we were on the road again. She got mad at me earlier for not telling her about a lot of things and "opening up" to her since she's my wife and I should. So I did. We talked for most of the drive. We got to Strawberry Reservoir (for you Utah people) and about 10 minutes to Heber. We were going pretty slow since there was a crap ton and a half of deer, moose and Elk that decided to be very close to us. Trin made a comment that we were going to hit a deer. I responded "Hit a deer I pee in your car." Her response "You pee in my car I pee in your face...i mean...you get what I mean." Which started a laugh fest. We keep chugging along slowly and all of a sudden Mr. Kelton decides to throw up. A LOT!! So Trin pulls off to the side of the road. My thought...we are screwed. She stops and we slid a little bit more into the snow. We help Kelton and by this point this pregnant lady is going to explode if she doesn't go to the bathroom PRONTO. My door is snowed in. So i jump out the driver seat and relive myself. Now I am FREEZING!! Trin leaves me standing in the road in the dark on this highway with crazy deer so she can try and rock the car. It just gets stuck more. Neither of us have service. After awhile I see headlights and stand up on the seat to flag this person down. A guy stops and is first worried we hit an animal. Nope just a barfy child. He said he can try and help push. Well together Trin and I make a 10 yr old. Im pregnant and she has a broken hand. So we are not much help. After a while more of no such luck and semi after semi passes us and freezes us more the guy flags a car coming in the opposite direction. Car slows and rolls window down. I see a woman. I turn to Trinity "we are screwed. Its another woman." Was I WRONG!!! This lady gets outta the car, basically tells the guy shes got this and starts digging out snow. I mean on hands and knees digging and getting snowy. Trin and I look at eachother and our jaws drop. She stands up gets in the car and starts rocking. It worked for a min but then slid. Meanwhile Kelton is in the car looking as miserable as he feels and Tristan is SCREAMING his head off. Im STARVING and shaky and wife is cold. So wonder woman asks the guy if he has any rope or anything. He has some small tie downs and they hook that to the car. Her car is a Hyundai. I was surprised she was gonna try with her car and not ask for the guys SUV. So she pulls and it snaps. Tries again. made it move but snapped. After second snap a truck started slowing and pulled over ahead of us. He was pulling a jeep on a trailer so he had bigger tie downs. They hook em up and out comes the car. First guy leaves and The lady starts to slowly pull away. Well we still weren't completely un-stuck. So she pulled for a min and we were free. We thanked both and we on our way. We started our again slow descent down the canyon with more animals. We made it almost out of Provo canyon and Kelton starts throwing up and choking on it. Not good. We pull off luckily there is no snow this time. Quickly help him and were off again. About 1/2 mile up the road the big truck guy was pulled over waiting till we passed just to make sure. It was really really nice of him and he didn't have to but we sure appreciated him doing so. We FINALLY got home after 1 am. I was exhausted and still starving and even though I should have I didn't eat. I was way to sick feeling to do so. I passed out as soon as I hit the bed. Tristan was hyper like someone gave him drugs. Needless to say it was one of the best days ever. Even though we got stranded. As least some amazing people stopped to help.

October

Went by quickly. We had a bunch of random things happening. I got braces. So fun. 2 days later I was in E.R. from severe TMJ. My bottom jaw was completely to the right and then closed shut. I was shaking and crying. Made me wanna throw up. I chipped 3 teeth, broke a bracket and a wire. I was in sooo much pain. At the E.R. is when the tears came. I drove and was there alone because it was midnight and Tristan was sleeping. It was freezing outside and the car heater takes forever so me shivering wasn't helping the situation. They gave me ice and I passed out waiting for meds. Came home, took drugs and went to bed. I haven't had any more muscle spasms but I am still in killer pain. When I sleep and wake up especially. I feel like I've been hit in my jaw and right side of face. I have bad headaches, neck pain and ear pain now. I hate it. If I had known getting braces was going to cause the TMJ to flair I wouldn't have gotten em. It's not worth it. I have to see about getting into a specialist but I guess there is only one good one in utah and it is hard to get in to see him. A couple weeks back, probably about a month now, our wash blew up on us. So we have been without. I have been using neighbors or friends. Today we finally got one and I am so happy and relieved. I have MANY loads to do though. It will take a little bit. I basically washed essentials to get us by. It sucked. Of course there was Halloween. Tristan was a Vampire for Johns work party and a dinosaur for trick or treating. He was a stud with both costumes. Of course it rained the whole day Saturday which sucked. But he still had fun. Our charger has been at the shop now for about a month with a blown head gasket. We have been using my car that my grandpa gave me when he died. It has its own problems but it gets us around. Hopefully our charger will be fixed here soon. We miss it. I have been 20 times more nauseous this pregnancy then I ever was with Tristan. I have been so sick this entire time so far. I hate it. Im 12 weeks now so hopefully it will go away soon. We also got another dog, Lily, from a friend. Shes chihuahua/beagle. Her and George were best friends. She was used to being a outside dog and that mainly why we gave her back. She hated a leash and after a couple weeks of no luck we gave her back. They also just moved to AZ and we were basically on a trial to see if we wanted her. One day when we have a yard we will get another dog. Not yet though. Also the craving are crazy and vivid.

I ate another BABY!!!

The whole "eating a baby" started when I worked a Ricardo's. I don't even know why but I would always say "I wanna eat a baby". So for the people who remember me saying it.....I ate a baby :D We found out last week that we will be adding another baby to the family. I was supposed to get my tonsils out last Thursday and Wednesday night something told me to take a test. Sure enough I got two positives. It was at like 10:00 pm so I had to figure out to get a hole of my Dr since my appointment was at 7 am the next day. He told me congrats but no surgery. I really wanted/needed them out but Id rather have a baby. We were sooooo excited when we found out. I told a lot of our friends and only my mom because she wanted me to have john and my friend call her after surgery and also to get a blessing. I decided I couldn't lie and told her. I waited till today to tell the in laws because I wanted to do it in a cute way.


So i made the shirt above and when my mother in law came to grab Tristan I had it in a pile with his other clothes and then went back to bed and wait. 2 seconds later she comes in and she says "Sarah? Are you trying to tell me something?" I replied "Leave me alone I'm sleeping." She says "I need to know. Are you pregnant?" Yes yes I am. I don't know for sure how far along I am. I go in tomorrow or Friday to get an ultrasound. Then I will know for sure when I'm due and far along I am. So far I have been way nauseous all day everyday for the past couple weeks. And its just getting worse. Blah. Its more often and earlier then with Tristan. Its worth it though. I love being pregnant and hopefully everything will go great.
I took my mom to Melting Pot for her birfday

Just goofing off waiting for a table

He likes his reflection

He is a crazy driver (he literally was riving. We do it waiting for daddy)

Tristan and Breezie being cute as always


Emmas 12th birthday

Me goofing off with her new tutu

His new "nerd" shirt. Just for daddy
Peek a boo in the back seat


Snuggling for betime

Rough times

Im going to be open for once on my blog. If you truly know me you know its hard for me to show emotion. I bottle it up till I burst. Which yes I know is not good. Ive gotten better over the years but not 100% there yet. The past couple of weeks have been hard for me. Its just one thing after another. Tristan finally got into a sleep schedule then of course he all of a sudden fell back to old times. Me not getting sleep just makes me more pissy during the day. We do the same thing every night and still he does this. Its really starting to get to me. I just want him to SLEEP!!! Also he hasn't been eating properly. Sometimes he tells me what he wants but when I give it to him he gets mad and throws it then wont eat. He has his certain foods that he loves and sometimes he could care less about him. Ive been giving him carnation instant breakfast and v8 slash so he at least gets he protein and fruits and veggies. The other night he went to bed without eating. Hes getting to old to be doing this. Since Friday he has been kinda sick too. But when I try to give him meds he spits it at me. Tonight I talked to my dr and she said to start giving him benedryl again. Well when I gave it to he spit it out then trew up so he got it outta him. He was in the tub taking a bath so at least I didnt have to clean clothes or off the ground. I got to the point where I took him out got him dressed and put him right in his bed. I have been at my wits end all day today. Moday I got 2 impacted wisdom teeth out and am in a lot of pain. Well tristan keeps hitting them or slamming his head into me which makes me bleed and hurt worse. Last night he kept screaming and finally climed down the stairs and made me sleep on the couch with him. It took him a little bit to fall asleep but once he finally did he was out for a while. Well I was on lortab and in a pissy mood cuz thats what it does to me. I also took one earlier today. So all today every thing he did to push my buttons did and it was 10 times more then normal. I finally put movies on back to back to distract him and then let him play outside for a while. It just gets me so worked up witch eventually turns into anger then depressed. Even on my meds. Also this month I started a job with a friends boyfriend. Well he was shady to her and they broke up then started being shady and rude to me. So I quit and after I quit hes all "your officially fired" um....you cant fire someone who quit. Long story short and 79 text fight in a few hours later I no longer have a job and dont talk to him. He owes me a couple hundred which I will never see and threatened me a lot. Which if he follows through I will counter it with things hes doing. Good thing in it all, my older brother defended me and his sil, even though hes in Iraq and is dealing with the guy now. Hes 29 and needs to grow up. Im not the one he should be fighting with. I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing. So with all that it got me really upset and I wanted to just punch him. Hes a real piece of work is all I can say. Anyways. Till next time. Hopefully things will get better.

After surgery

Chipmunk time

Your how old?!

Its that guys birthday!!! I love hims!!!! I knew from day 2 that I was going to marry him. No joke. I even told a friend "I'm going to marry that kid one day". She didn't believe me.

I can honestly say hes my best friend!! We are so goofy with each other and nothing embarrasses us.

Now for 23 I love about John:
1. Hes Good freaking looking!
2. He makes me smile
3. He Gives me massages when I ask :D
4. He takes care of me
5. Hes been there for me through the good and BAD!!!
6. He stole my heart
7. He works hard for the money
8. Hes in school and work full time
9. He puts everyone else first
10. Hes a nerd
11. He puts up with me (if u know me that's a huge deal)
12. He lets me sleep in
13. He is the best father EVER!!!!!
14. My best friend and lover
15. He makes me food when I'm lazy
16. Hes my big spoon :p
17. He does little things that bug me
18. He gives me breaks when I NEED them!!!
19. He completes me :D
20. He is a goofy goofy kid
21. Hes my nerd disguised as a sexy man
22. You make me feel good about myself even when I don't
23. He is just: THE BEST PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!