Hi

Hey all who read this. We dont have internet and when we get internet I always forget to update. Life fr us Terry's is CRAZY!!!! Tristan turned one. He got the flu the day after his party. He then gave it to me. And by the end of the week John finally got part of the flu. He sucks for not getting it as bad as T an I. After I was kinda feeling better I came down with Bronchitis again. The same day I got that John was at work and passed out and fell on the ground. The paramedics came and took him b ambulance to the er. was stuck at home with the baby ad no car and was freaking out the whole time. I finally got to the hospial as they were releasing him. They said it was a combo of stress, no sleep, and drinking an energy drink on an empty stomach. His naggy wife keeps telling him he needs to eat and not just drink energy drinks. I still have my cough. Tristan is over his flu but moved onto a tooth coming through, walking and constipation still. We go on monday to see a specialist and hopefully get some answers. So until next time.

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So us Terry's have been very busy. Johnny started school in the beginning of December. Our computer is STILL broken. Hopefully I will get it tomorrow. We FINALLY moved to Provo. My mom and family FINALLY moved back to Utah. Tristan is growing and will not stop. He will be 1 in February. I found a kitty and cant seem to get rid of her because we have all, including the dog, come to love her crazy self. She fits right in. Enjoy some of the recent pictures.

We are still alive....kinda

Um......yea. So its been....A WHILE!!!!!! Where to start? Mr. Tristan is now 10 months old, has 6 teeth and is CRAZY!! We knew he would be. I mean look at who his parents are :D He is crawling like no other. Hes getting into EVERYTHING!!! He thinks he is old enough to walk and walk up the stairs. But he doesnt quite understand the whole getting back down thing. At night or nap time he sticks his butt up in the air and wiggles around and flops back and forth. Half the time hes completly out. Hes my funny kid. He also recently got a yeast infection. It was more panful for me then him. Johnny started school today at I.T.T Tech in Murray. He is going into web design and video programing. I love my little nerd. I have still been dealing with my usual problems. Then some. My migraine went away fo a little while. Then 2 weeks ago they started again. I had to et another MRI on friday for a follow up. It was horrible. They were supposed to give me meds for sedation...but...they didnt. The did an iv and drew blood and put saline in me but no meds. About 5 mins into the scan I started feeling claustrophobic ad started having a anxiety attack. So i pushed my little ball to have them stop and all he said was its almost over. Um...30 min later and I had to go get a xanax. I was furious. I actually started crying!!! Ive also gotten another UTI and followed with a yeast infection. Our laptop screen is broken so no pics. But soon it will be a picture overload.

The pig has attacked!!!!!!!!!

Yes. Tristan and Johnny have been struck with Swine Flu. Tristan got it first way bad and then johnny started feeling symptoms. Tristan started out with a 102 fever and it only got hotter and hotter. He reached 104 at one point. They got him started on tamiflu, tylenol, and motrin. Then on fri he wasnt eating or having wet diapers. So after trying to get him liquids we finally tool him into the er. They got him on some anti nausea meds and finally got him to eat. Now his only problem is not being able to breathe. He is so congested. We are slowly just getting through it. Lets hope I can keep staying clear of it. I need to take care of my two babies :D For Halloween I found a elephant mask and it was the most amazing thing bought for .50 cents. Ha. Tristan was my skeleton. I ept calling him skeletor. Johnny was a swine flu victim. haha. He wasnt feeling up to dressing up. George was a football player. Because of the sicklings we only took pictures. I just realized I took my sleep pill and Im starting to slowly go. One last thing. I recieved another concussion last night. Ill explain in details next post. Lets just say it involves a rusty nail, a chicken and my head :D

Be prepared for a long one.......

Since my last post a lot has happened. In the last one I mentioned my depression and how its getting bad. Well its only gotten worse. I have had a lot of different stressor's on my plate. Then I talk with a friend and a whole ton of stuff was brought up and I think it just threw me over the edge. I started feeling very suicidal last wed night. I wasn't feeling emotionally suicidal just chemically. My heart was saying its not worth it, your family and friends love you, Tristan needs you, it's selfish. But my brain was saying your worthless, no one needs you, take some pills, drive off the mountain, go die. I knew deep inside I wouldn't do anything but then again the feeling was so strong to do so. I was at the time staying in Heber with a friend and she talked me outta being dumb and kept me sane. But I left her place without saying bye and when she texted all I said was I still wanted to die. She said get to a hospital or Im calling the cops. And stubborn me told her to screw off. Only making matters worse. I blew up on her and said a lot of things I shouldnt and now we arent speaking. She wants time but its hard cuz shes my bestie. But time is what she wants and I'm gonna respect it. If you read this Im sorry I said those things and still want to be friends. If youll have me back that would be awesome. If not, I understand. Anyways. So I went to John's work and sat and talked with him and then we went to a park to talk. I also let my dr office know what was going on and waited for my dr to call back. We got home and she finally called. I told her what was going on and she said: either go pick up these pills I called in or go to the hospital. Well once again Im stubborn. So I basically told her no I wasnt going to go in. But then while taking a shower with Johnny I broke down crying and had a strong feeling to go in. So I got ready, got a blessing and said bye to the family. While I was doing so, I got a text from sperm donor and it made me go ballistic. I was so beyond pissed that he would text me after I told him never to talk to me again. Johnny drove me up to Provo e.r. and then we sat there from 7 pm to 1 am waiting. I finally went upstairs to start my 4 day journey of getting new meds, talking with counselors, group therapy, and healing. It was honestly worth every dime, time and effort put into it. It was hard Im not gonna lie and my depression is still kinda here but it helped a lot. I have to say I was honestly the sanest person there. My problems felt like nothing compared to some of the stories I heard. I made a couple of new friends whom are going threw kinda the same thing. They are awesome girls. I want to say a special thanks to hubs for being there evey day when you were aloud to be and calling and being supportive even though I know it was hard. Also thanks to those who stopped by or called. Also those who kept us in your prayers. It means a lot. Since getting out I have a ton of stress, which of course is alwyas gonna be there. I handeled one BIG stressor. His name is Mark and is my "dad". I went to the cops and told them all thats been going on and told him to leave me alone or I can slap a stalker report and phone harrasment on him. Hopefully he will get the picture. One down. More to go. I start therapy on monday in provo and will be going to another one here in town. Im also on new meds which are so far good. As far as Tristan goes, I came home and he is fully crawling. UH-OH!!!! He climbs stairs too. He so much fun though. His K-9 wasnt actually his K-9. He has his top left front tooth and the one next to that and is getting the two on the other side.His smile is funny. I think he should be a vampire for halloween. Below are some pics from bath time, Johnny and Tristan with crazy after a hard day hair, and my new hair cut and color. Anyways my sleep med is kicking in so until next time.

First your probably wondering why my blog isnt blocked anymore. There are a few (old) people who cant figure the whole being blocked thing out. So I honestly dont care if HE can read it. I told him it was blocked so lets hope he stops trying. anyways. Things have been crazy around here. Tristan not only fully has his bottom two teeth but he is now getting his top right side K-9 tooth.

Ugh. This has been the hardest tooth yet. He has been a terror. Plus hes sick. It hasnt been a good week. He only wantss to sleep with his head on my chest so he can hear my heart beat. Which is really hard when I cant sit still and he gets pissed when I move. And now I'm pretty sure I have strep throat. Again. Yum. I need to get those tonsils out so that it will stop. Every year for the past who knows how long I have gotten that and bronchitis. I went to an ortho surgeon last week to figure out my knee. He said just from feeling it he thinks there is a small ligament tear and the MRI confirmed that.Which they didnt see before. He also said my cartilage could be bruised. He gave me some anti-inflamatories(?) and told me to wait 3-6 moonths and hopefully it will be better. If not he recommends a scope so he can see and fix whats going on. Also this post pardum thing is still not gone :( Some days it just gets worse. Im on anti depressants and also just got on anxiety pills to help. It just sucks and I want it all gone. Anyways. Back to eating my mashed potatoes cuz its all that doesnt hurt to eat.

Slacking

Yea Ive been a slacker. Ive just been too busy or too lazy to post anything. Alot has been going on. I had to get an MRI last month cuz of my migraines and eyes hurting. I also went to a neurologist and a eye dr. From both of them and the MRI I still have no idea what is wrong. They gave me some meds to try but they arent strong enough or the others knock me out. So bacically I suffer. Ive had them for so long I just have learned to deal with them. Johnny has been working, working, working. Well kinda at least. His section at work has produced the parts they need but the people who buy them usually arent buying them. So he basically sits around all day. Tristan has had his stupid HELLmet :D on now for 3 weeks. It has literally been hell having that thing. It worked out great for almost a week. Then he fell off the bed and we left it off for that night. The next morning I could not get it for the life of me. I started having an anixety attack cuz it was making him cry and wouldnt go on. I felt terrible. So I drove back up to salt lake and had them fix it. Well he didnt fix it right. It put pressure on his skull and it caused a welt about a quarter size and stuck out about an inch. It killed him. So I drove back up to Salt lake and had them fix it again. This time he put a bubble where that welt was. Now he just freaking hates that stupid thing and screams bloody murder whenever we put it on. He also sits there and shakes his head no when we bring it out which of course makes it harder to put on. He will start doing the purple cry. Lips are purple and he makes no noise for a while. I absolutely hate it. I have also been getting a lot of photography practice. With friends doing shoots and Megan taking me and showing me a few pointers. I love taking pictures and cant wait till Im as good as the best. The video is funny at the bottom. Johnny was playing basketball and Tristan found it hilarious. Enjoy.