Rough times

Im going to be open for once on my blog. If you truly know me you know its hard for me to show emotion. I bottle it up till I burst. Which yes I know is not good. Ive gotten better over the years but not 100% there yet. The past couple of weeks have been hard for me. Its just one thing after another. Tristan finally got into a sleep schedule then of course he all of a sudden fell back to old times. Me not getting sleep just makes me more pissy during the day. We do the same thing every night and still he does this. Its really starting to get to me. I just want him to SLEEP!!! Also he hasn't been eating properly. Sometimes he tells me what he wants but when I give it to him he gets mad and throws it then wont eat. He has his certain foods that he loves and sometimes he could care less about him. Ive been giving him carnation instant breakfast and v8 slash so he at least gets he protein and fruits and veggies. The other night he went to bed without eating. Hes getting to old to be doing this. Since Friday he has been kinda sick too. But when I try to give him meds he spits it at me. Tonight I talked to my dr and she said to start giving him benedryl again. Well when I gave it to he spit it out then trew up so he got it outta him. He was in the tub taking a bath so at least I didnt have to clean clothes or off the ground. I got to the point where I took him out got him dressed and put him right in his bed. I have been at my wits end all day today. Moday I got 2 impacted wisdom teeth out and am in a lot of pain. Well tristan keeps hitting them or slamming his head into me which makes me bleed and hurt worse. Last night he kept screaming and finally climed down the stairs and made me sleep on the couch with him. It took him a little bit to fall asleep but once he finally did he was out for a while. Well I was on lortab and in a pissy mood cuz thats what it does to me. I also took one earlier today. So all today every thing he did to push my buttons did and it was 10 times more then normal. I finally put movies on back to back to distract him and then let him play outside for a while. It just gets me so worked up witch eventually turns into anger then depressed. Even on my meds. Also this month I started a job with a friends boyfriend. Well he was shady to her and they broke up then started being shady and rude to me. So I quit and after I quit hes all "your officially fired" um....you cant fire someone who quit. Long story short and 79 text fight in a few hours later I no longer have a job and dont talk to him. He owes me a couple hundred which I will never see and threatened me a lot. Which if he follows through I will counter it with things hes doing. Good thing in it all, my older brother defended me and his sil, even though hes in Iraq and is dealing with the guy now. Hes 29 and needs to grow up. Im not the one he should be fighting with. I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing. So with all that it got me really upset and I wanted to just punch him. Hes a real piece of work is all I can say. Anyways. Till next time. Hopefully things will get better.

After surgery

Chipmunk time

Your how old?!

Its that guys birthday!!! I love hims!!!! I knew from day 2 that I was going to marry him. No joke. I even told a friend "I'm going to marry that kid one day". She didn't believe me.

I can honestly say hes my best friend!! We are so goofy with each other and nothing embarrasses us.

Now for 23 I love about John:
1. Hes Good freaking looking!
2. He makes me smile
3. He Gives me massages when I ask :D
4. He takes care of me
5. Hes been there for me through the good and BAD!!!
6. He stole my heart
7. He works hard for the money
8. Hes in school and work full time
9. He puts everyone else first
10. Hes a nerd
11. He puts up with me (if u know me that's a huge deal)
12. He lets me sleep in
13. He is the best father EVER!!!!!
14. My best friend and lover
15. He makes me food when I'm lazy
16. Hes my big spoon :p
17. He does little things that bug me
18. He gives me breaks when I NEED them!!!
19. He completes me :D
20. He is a goofy goofy kid
21. Hes my nerd disguised as a sexy man
22. You make me feel good about myself even when I don't
23. He is just: THE BEST PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!

Gimpy here

I officially had my first surgery last Wednesday. I was terrified going in. But it wasnt so bad. Great drugs, sleep and friends and family helping. Who could ask for more? lol. Trinity and I had WAYYYYYY too much fun with the nurses. We had all of em laughing. It was fun. For the first 4 days I was on crutches. But on sunday I was able to walk without. It still kills but Im dealing with the pain since Lortab does nothing. But I have an apointment tomorrow morning.
IS this my pee hole?
Sweet outfit
I lost all this weight with SubWay
My only personal belongings
Had to write yes on surgery knee. Trins artwork

Blah Blah Blah

We have just been hanging out this summer. Nothing big. John still has school. I still stay at home with the terror child. But I love it. I have been doing some much needed editing and some photo shoots. Our new neighbors have two little boys. A 5 yr old and a 3 yr old I think. Lol. She watches T some times and I watch her boys while she gets some work done. They all have fun but are still getting used to the whole "sharing" thing. Tristan doesn't really know yet cuz he hasn't really had to share much. And they dont like to cuz hes a "baby" and babies are ewww. Haha. They are cuties. I am glad that we have great neighbors considering some of the other people in here. Well tomorrow I go in for a knee scope. It will be my first surgery. Im excited to just get it done with and hopefully they can figure out what the crap is going on in their.

someme heroes wear capes, ours wear combat boots!!

Today was an emotional day for my family. My big brother chris boarded a plane to leave for iraq. He won't technically be there for 2 weeks. It was really hard to watch him say bye to his beautiful wife becca and there georgeous 3 week old baby girl Zoe. He has been pretty excited to be going but since Zoe arrived he has not been doing good. We are all just so happy he got to spend 3 weeks with her. Rather her be due any day and not see her. And as hard as it is she's at a good age. When daddy comes home she will be 1 and she won't know the difference. Doesn't make it any easier. we all got to spend a couple hrs with him and all of his fellow troops. It was heartbreaking watching them stand in formation then turn and board while their families looked on. We all took our turns at giving a hug and when it came my turn I gave hima big hug said be safe and I love you and then I lost it. I hate crying in public. It was just so hard. Its still kinda unreal that he's gone for a year. It was also really hard to hear little kids crying and yelling bye daddy. Ill miss you. I love you. I just wish him and his fellow troops a safe trip out and back. And safety while in iraq. They are sacrifising so much so we can have freedom. All of them gave up family time and being with their newborns while we get to chill and be with our families. Those men and women are so strong and brave. I hope this year flies by so we get him home soon!!! Please keep him and the troops in your prayers!! Ill be posting pictures tomorrow when I'm on the computer.

Pictures finally

So I deleted all the pictures and decided to just do a slide show. Much easier.

dinosa u r a dinosaur.....

Finally we have moved!!! We moved frim provo to american fork. I love it. Not only is it bigger and closer to johns school and the same distance from his work but I'm about a block away from one of my besties, trinity. Its awesome. Tristan and I can just walk on over and play w her and her 2 kiddos. Her husband is finally home from serving a year in afghanistan. Thank you ryan for fighting for our freedom. My big brother chris and his wife becca are having a baby and schedualed to e leaves have miss zoe on Friday. Sucky thing is he leaves for iraq on the 26 and is in training till wed of next week. So he can only leave for 4 hrs on Friday to be with becca and zoe. Then he's gone for a year and misses the most important milestones. But once again I thank him for his sacrifice and wish him the best of luck. He's excited to go but at the same time sad he will not be with his girls. John has been making fun of me lately cuz I'm on ksl.com as much as I am on fb. So when he's off work I give him a news uodate of traffic and important things going on. After each "story" he says: and back to you (insert random names) in the news room. He thinks he's funny. I just like being informed on what's going on. And since I can't watch the news on tv I have to read about it. Which I'm fine with that. So I've decided to not share with him anymore. At least ill try not to. Lol. We got another dog a couple weeks ago. He's a weimareiner. His name is moose. We named him that. Its was jake but had to change it cuz his owner looked liek my ex and his name was jake. So it was no bueno. But moose fits him PERFECTLY!!! He is constantly running into things and is...well a moose. He's so clumsy. He will run down the stairs and slip on the tile and flip into the door. Its funny. And he will start runnign and run into walls or slip on tile. He keeps tristan and I entertained. But I am sad to say I am selling him. Hie is great with george and tristan but they aren't so good with him. Tristan has his moments where tristan likes him but other where he's terified when he sees him. And george is our gay dog and gets turned on at the sight of moose. Its gross. We have definatly fallen in love with him and he's a great dog but our home is too small for the two dogs and tristan. It will be sad when he leaves. But he deserves a backyard and a better home. He's causing way too much not needed stress for me. Plus he farts a lot and its horrible. Lol. I knew he would be a challenge and I'm all for it but once again he's too big for our home. My knee has been killing again. I can sometimes barely stand or walk. I need to go back and have it checked out. But I keep putting it off cuz I don't wanna deal with it. Which is bad cuz it makes it worse. Also the other night I was trying to beat up johnny and I was wining but then he accidentally rolled over and hyperextended my elbow causing it to dislocate. It no feel good. He feels really bad but its not like he did it on purpose cuz if he did id have to kill him :D mr tristans new favorite things to do are pick his nose, make funny faces at us like angry old man and a kinda smile/I d k. Lol. Its just freaking hilarious. He's such a cute kid and he knows it all too well. I have officially gotten him off bottles and on sippy cups. It was mostly the help of mr kelton. He kept stealing his sipy and drinking from it. He has also moved to a big boy bed. He likes it. He normally sleeps till anywhere between 930 and 1015. I love it. He still ahs his nights, like tonight, where he just wants to be snuggled and sleeps with us. And I'm ok with it. I love it. He doesntg do it that often. Hopefully I can get somewhere with internet on my laptop so I can put pictures up. It will be a lot. Anyways. Good night. Or should I say morning since its 3 :D I had to watch my alice in wonderland before I went to bed.